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A BDSM Memoir of Submission
According to a 2014 a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, 65 percent of women report fantasies or desires for sexual submission. Yet, only 20 percent of us have ever explored those fantasies.
What would it really be like to introduce BDSM into one’s ordinary, married life? How does a sexual D/s relationship unfold? What does it feel like, physically and emotionally? What are the fears it triggers? How does it alter one’s sense of self?
Five years ago, my husband and I decided to give a spanking roleplay game a try. Within a few weeks of that first playful smack of his hand against my bare bottom, our relationship had become steeped in Dominance and submission (D/s), and we were having the most raw, transcendent, thrilling sex of our lives—in our 50s! As we took greater risks and became more vulnerable to each other, our trust in each other deepened. We communicated more, laughed more, and appreciated each other more. Beyond that, our D/s exploration opened the door to profound spiritual experiences for both of us.
For couples wondering whether to take that plunge, here is the story of how it unfolded for us in our first two months, in full ecstatic detail. These details are, of course, unique to us—no two D/s couples do things the same way. But at its heart, our story is a universal BDSM story: Boy meets girl, boy spanks girl, then girl looks at boy from desire-glazed eyes and says, “More, please.” Oh yes, please, much more of that.